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| 2010-04-17 22:16 |
| (no subject) |
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Andi and I have a thing going, sort of. It's - we're not really talking about it, which is totally okay by me. I'm tired of having to talk things through.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of David's accident and I'm not really sure how that's going to go. It's been four years since I was around for this, even though I always sent an email or called or something, and it just feels weird. But he'll get through it, and whatever he says to me I'll just ignore and next week it'll be like nothing happened. It's nice to have reliability in one area, anyway.
Sherry and I are meeting up next week to go over some more paperwork stuff. It's a little
I dunno. Things are... working themselves out, I guess. It's good.
I have to say though: When it rains, it motherfucking POURS.
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I broke up with I left Sherry left I asked her to le Part of me feels relieved and part of me feels like a failure.
Hanne arrives on Friday. I wonder why I can't get excited about it.
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[in German]
I do not feel guilty. I'm just meeting up with an old friend. That's it. I don't feel guilty for not telling Sherry.
Fuck. Yes, I do.
I'll try harder. I swear I will. I've been doing more, but she didn't notice, so it must not have been enough.
I'll do more.
But David can mind his own fucking business.
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I guess it's time to man up. Sherry's letter may have had a few buried insults, but I know she's right, because I said as much to David the other day.
Okay, so I need to fix this. She says she doesn't feel like I'm pulling my weight or whatever. I can make this better. All I need to do is pay attention to her more, do my share of the chores without her harping on reminding me, and do all that romcom stuff.
I can fix this.
My God, I hate being married. If she thinks I don't miss my college-self as much as she says she does, she's wrong. That guy was one hell of a lot happier than I am now.
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David made some stupid crack about me not having moved on past high school the other day. I know he was just kidding, probably, but I don't know. It's been bugging me. I said to Andi at Logannie's engagement party that I hadn't even thought about the mascot stuff since high school, which was true... I don't know. I have moved on. It's just... maybe it was easier to have moved on when I'm not constantly running into people who I went to high school with.
And she did smoke weed. My nose does not lie.
Anyway. I'm teaching a couple of swing dance workshops later this month, which I'm really excited about. I haven't told Sherry.
[in German]
I don't know how much longer we can keep going on like this. If she wants to stay together, I'm not going to run out on her or force her out, but I wish she'd at least cut me some slack sometimes. It's hard to believe she and I used to be really good friends, when I'd rather be anywhere than with her now.
Whenever we argue now, it's like that Nazi comment is hanging in the air. I know she said sorry, but sometimes the way she looks at me... it's driving me crazy. I don't know if I'm in the wrong for not putting it behind me, or if she's actually said something unforgivable. She's started reading more German history books at the library, I haven't failed to notice.
I am hoping that she's going to come away thinking that Germany is allowed back into the human race. Really, really hoping.
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Check it: yesterday I ran into Ross Brown, Andi Gentile and (I'm pretty sure) Penny Weller all in one day. This is reaching Twilight Zone proportions.
I signed me and Sherry up for some swing dance classes and I found out about this dance-off thing downtown - like underground swing dancing or something, lol. I haven't told her yet, first class is tomorrow, and then the next dance-off is in a couple of weeks. I hope am pretty sure it will be awesome.
I'm off work today, so I'm just wandering around the apartment in my robe, which is pretty awesome. I think I might play some video games later. I am within maybe twenty hours of defeating Kingdom Hearts 2. That's NOTHING FOR THE SCHERMINATOR.
[in German]
I'm not looking forward to David getting home from work today. I've got a feeling that the next few weeks are really going to suck for him, and for me by extension. NASA > planetarium, hands down, but... I don't know. I wish I knew how to make this better - it's like the time after the accident all over again, except now he's being weirdly fake-cheerful, which is possibly worse.
Could I sound any more like a chick right now?
Also, I thought it would be awesome to see Andi again, but instead she's
I don't think I like this growing up thing. And I definitely hate all this change.
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| 2009-12-31 13:51 |
| Bruce |
| Public |
| profile |
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Now at look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on your MTV
That ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Money for nothing and your ( chicks for free )
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